I was invited to a "sprinkle" for my sister who is expecting in October. This is her 2nd baby, so instead of a shower...get it? I thought it was cute. Anyway, her close friends planned this and it is friends who are invited. Our mom and her MIL weren't invited. It was really nice of them to include me. But I think that I'm going to RSVP no. I feel guilty about it, but it really is for her to get together with her girlfriends, who for the most part, I don't really know well. I had planned on getting a mani/pedi for her and me sometime soon. So, I think I'm going to stick with that, rather than subject myself to the "sprinkle". A part of me feels badly too that I didn't take the initiative to plan something for her. I threw her a shower when she was pregnant with my nephew. I can't do it this time, so I'm really happy that her friends have stepped up.
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Speaking of my sister, she asked me to be there for her when she goes into labor. My BIL may be out of town for work, so in the event that occurs, I'll be his stand-in until he gets there. This was the same set-up for baby #1, but it turned out I wasn't needed that time. I'm hoping that I'm needed this time around, even if it's for a little bit.
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There have been so many matches on my blog list...which is really wonderful. I'm so happy for my bloggy friends who are moving out of limbo, AKA 'The Wait', and much closer towards their dreams! At the same time, naturally, it's made me go into kind of a funk and feel sorry for myself. I'm also feeling surrounded by pregnancy and birth announcements. It's been a little while since my last funk, so I'm about due for one. Anyway, it just seems so unreasonable and frustrating to me that we've been waiting for a child as long as we've had. It will soon be 10 years since we've been trying to have a family. I know we're not the only ones to have to wait, everyone has to wait...but for this freaking long??? And yes, I'm going to go there....
WHY US?
Nothing has gone our way in the past 9+ years...not with infertility treatments and now, with the adoption process, it hasn't been as promising as I thought it would be when we started this journey. I didn't expect us to still be waiting at this point. Who does, right? Things have picked up a bit since we signed with another adoption person, so it gives me a flicker of hope. I'm just fed up with being ultra-patient, standing on the sidelines, just a bystander...watching.
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My 'funks' typically don't last more than 48 hours, so keep tuning in.
#MicroblogMondays - Willpower
11 years ago
13 comments:
I hear you with the vent - hang in there! I hope you get to feeling better soon. I also have short-lived funks these days.
10 years is a long time to wait for anything, let alone a longed for baby. So whilst I won't even imagine how you must feel I am sending love and hoping the funk "breaks" for you soon. But even if it doesn't, I'm still here xxx
I totally hear what you are saying, and it sounds like you are more than entitled to being in a full blown funk...and for more than 48 hours if you feel the need!!
Hang in there...I wish I could say it gets easier, but it never really does. One day though, this waiting and longing WILL come to an end though. Until then, keep hanging on!!
Hugs,
Melba
I agree with Melba. You should feel free to own your funk. I always felt bad about venting on my blog but I think it's so helpful and real because we've all felt that way. A friend of mine summed it up when she said some days she just feels like "WTF"?!?! towards the universe for making her life a little extra hard and I think we can certainly all relate. I'm thinking great thoughts that your wait isn't much longer and that you get that call soon!
It's good to vent. Going through infertility treatments, the ups and downs, the waiting...it's all really hard and you deserve to vent all you want.
We're here for you.
I'm sorry it's been 10 long years E. Funks are totally allowed and understood in these circles. I hope today is a better day for you. Hugs.
I'm sorry it's been so long. :( Hang in there...and it's good to vent when you need to! :)
Hi there. I'm still waiting too and have been for a LONG time. I get what you mean about the conflicting emotion of seeing all of your blog friends matched. BTW Are you on Facebook? If so, I'd love to be your "friend" and vent along with you. You can find me under Lisa Cogan
Sending some hugs your way. You are entitled to your moments. To think we probably all thought making the decision to try for a baby was the hard part.... The hard part really just began. 10 years is a long time. The pay off will be huge and make up for all your funks, sadness, and struggles. I hope that perfect match is right around the corner and these moments are a distant memory.
I'm so sorry you are feeling in a funk right now. Ten years is too long to be waiting for a baby. I can't tell you how often I think of you and hope that you will be next.
I think you are making the right choice about the sprinkle. The mani/pedi sounds like great sister bonding time. It is also great of you to be the back up person for your sisters labor. I hope you get to be there for some of it.
10 years is a long time to wait for a baby. I hope that your time is coming to a close and you will get your miracle soon:)
(((hugs))) my friend! I know about the whole "why us" thing... I ask myself that daily! Our time will come...I just hope we don't have to be patient for much longer!
E, I agree with the others....own your funk. Talking or blogging about it helps, you are 'keeping it real'. The pain and frustration that comes along with IF and the whole adoption process. I'm very sorry that you've been waiting this long, but like you said things seem to be picking up for you.
BTW, I think getting a mani/pedi with your sister is perfect. And you shouldn't feel bad about not planning a party, many people don't have 'sprinkles' (which by the way is very cute). I think of you daily....remember you are not waiting alone, there are many of us who will relish in the joy your baby brings.
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