Some shopping, fingerprints, and a physical

Hubby and I went shopping for new cell phones yesterday. I love my new touch phone! The cell phone store happened to be right next to a C.arter's store. 50% off! I kind of steered him in that direction and before he knew it, he was in the store with me. Once inside, I went deep into the recesses of the store in an attempt to look for the unisex baby stuff (why is it that C.arter's has very little unisex clothes? It's either very boyish or very girly...) I looked up from where I was and I saw hubby perusing the racks in the infant boys section. Too cute. We weren't in the store very long and didn't purchase anything.

Today, I left work early to get my fingerprints done and then to my annual GYN appointment. My doc signed my physical form, just as she did last year. Now, hubby has to get that stuff done and I can send all of the paperwork off to the SW to complete our homestudy update. Woo Hoo!

Evidence of hopefulness

I went on babies.Rus.com to order a gift for the baby shower.  I wish them all the best, but I'm so glad that I decided not to go, especially with the way I'm feeling today.

Despite that, I joined the store Rewards program. What can I say? I'm a sucker for trying to spend $150 for a $5 coupon.

My happy pill is T.arget

I went to T.arget early this morning at 8:30am. I love going early because I feel like I have the store to myself. I wasn't in need of anything particular, but yesterday was payday and I needed a little cheer up. It's funny how T.arget can do that for me. In the store, are there any sweeter words than "Price Cut" or a better sight than the little red sticker denoting a clearance item? For me, no.

I always have to check out the baby aisles when I'm there. The only thing on sale were the Gerb.er organic onesies. I've lost track of how many onesies I've already bought, so I decided not to buy anymore until I do an inventory of what I have.

I did find the closet organizer I've been looking for. And it had the little red sticker on it...score!

I remember being there

I reconnected with an old friend.  He had heard through the grapevine (the grapevine is very long in our neck of the woods) about our infertility (IF) so that's how the dialogue on the IF topic started.  I learned that he and his wife had also gone on the IVF rollercoaster with no success.  We had the opportunity to meet up...he and his wife, me and hubby.  After some catching up, he asked about our adoption process. It was really nice to talk with a couple who had gone down a similar road in an attempt to have a family.  

He said that he would probably want to talk with me more about the adoption process. I could see that she wasn't quite as ready for this conversation.  Ahhhh...I remember feeling that...the overwhelming anger, frustration, sadness. I felt like I was looking at myself about 5 years ago. I chose not to talk up adoption that night. I know that I wouldn't have appreciated it back when I was in their shoes.  If they want to hear our experience with the adoption process, they'll ask me when they're both ready.

I will admit that I'm still somewhat bitter at times about IF. Numerous unsuccessful infertility procedures will do that to a woman....this particular woman anyway.  I can now appreciate where we are in our family-building pursuit. I remember being in the midst of treatment and what a dark hole that was for me and how defeated I felt. 

What a long, strange trip it's been, but at least I know we're on the right road now.

Honest scrap

Reggie Boppy tagged me for "Honest Scrap"...I'm game. Thanks RB...she has one of my fave blogs!

The rules of the award:
1) Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
2) Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap."
3) List at least 10 honest things about yourself.

1. I HATE, HATE, HATE that I'm almost 38 years old and still waiting to be a mom.
2. I'm sometimes passive aggressive in Target and pretend not to notice that I'm blocking the aisle with my cart when I see a preggo and her cart filled with the baby-in-carseat and toddler standing in the cart.
3. I smile to myself when aforementioned preggo has to deal with toddler having a meltdown.

This is honest scrap, right? I feel like I'm being a little too honest here. Oh well...it's my blog.

4. I second-guess myself about choosing the facilitator that we did.
5. I miss our dog, Jake, very much.
6. I worry that I won't be a good enough at being a mom...especially since I won't be the first to the child that is placed in our arms.
7. I want more than one child.
8. I don't know what I would do without my husband.
9. Infertility has taught me that everyone has their own burden to bear....no one has it all, even if I am envious of their fertility.
10. Although our families are so supportive, I worry that our child will always be viewed as the "adopted" grandchild, nephew, niece, and cousin.


I'm tagging these women...thanks for your honesty in sharing your stories and helping me to feel that I'm not alone in this journey:
Jodi, Deanna, Wendy, Nancy,
Melba, Marcie, and Bri.

A first for this blog...2 posts in 1 day

Well, I had to post again...I was very late in realizing that Holly tagged me and I've been wanting to do this one.

The Rules:
1. Go to where you store your digital photos and open the 4th folder.
2. Post the 4th picture in that folder.
3. Explain the picture.
4. Tag 4 people.

I have yet to check for the 4th picture in my 4th picture folder....*drum roll*


And the picture is....








Our obnoxious RED brick gas fireplace! Notice the faux logs. We took these pictures to take with us to the fireplace store. We're hoping to replace it with a wood-burning one and we are definitely going to work on the brick. This game did not turn out as exciting as I had hoped...now, if the game were asking for the 5th picture in the 7th folder, you would have seen my 81st skydive jump.

Just kidding.

Thanks for the travel suggestions!

Last week, I had posted about travel recommendations...it was cool to read where people love to go! Interestingly, it made me feel slightly well-traveled because we've been to a few of the places mentioned (Kauai, Riviera Maya, Aruba, and wine country-Napa). Because there are so many places we haven't been to yet, we don't usually plan to go somewhere we've already been. I did think about us going back to where we went on our honeymoon to celebrate our 10th (Sandals Antigua). But, I learned that the resort is totally different now (probably not a bad thing).

We were thinking (I don't think hubby really cares, so I'm probably going to decide) Cabo San Lucas, Mexico or Costa Rica. Cabo would be a long flight for us, but the price was surprisingly good. Costa Rica looked very nice, but we would want to travel within the country, which might be a lot since we would be staying just shy of a week. Also, this would take away from my vision of a beachy, relaxing resort vacation.

Any other ideas or feedback on Cabo or Costa Rica?

Catching up and slowing down (facilitator update #8)

I really need to blog more often. I'm so behind in what I've been wanting to write and with reading my faves. *sigh*

On Tuesday, our social worker came to our house in the snow to do our update visit. We gave her a quick tour of our new home and then we sat and chatted about what was new since we last saw her. Other than losing our furbaby Jake a few months ago, not much has changed.

I also contacted our facilitator's office on Tuesday. I spoke with her assistant and learned that our profile went out last month. There's not too much to tell about that one, mainly because it's still early in her pregnancy and I don't want to get my hopes up. I think the most "interesting" thing about the call was learning that they have 6 profiles left. I had sent out 8 back in September. You do the math. Needless to say, I'm discouraged and realize that we're not getting out there. Let me again mention that we have been signed with our facilitator for almost 13 months now. *sigh sigh*

My sense of urgency to get things done related to adoption has definitely dropped off over the past year. Last year, I was a mad woman getting all of the necessary paperwork together, getting fingerprints done ASAP, and physicals scheduled. I told our social worker that I would probably have everything she needs to her in about a month. Hubby's child abuse clearance paperwork is waiting to be sent out because I need all of his addresses since 1975. Why didn't I make a copy of that form last year? Ugh. So, he has to ask his dad again about that, but I definitely haven't lit a fire under his butt like I would have 12 months ago.

Travel suggestions/recommendations needed

In the continued pursuit of "not putting our lives on hold", we are planning a vacation to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary in May. We try to travel every year at this time and have been pretty successful in actually doing it, except for a couple of years when we were in the throes of IVF. Damn that IVF! We stopped by the travel agent yesterday to get some ideas and prices, but it's still kind of up in the air as to where we want to go.

Just looking for some suggestions or recommendations for a beachy, resort-type getaway...anyone?