Disturbing news in the headlines

I almost didn't post this because of not really wanting to go there, but it's so disturbing, just had to voice my disgust. The fertility doctor should have his medical license taken away. Just my opinion.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090131/ap_on_re_us/octuplets

The dreaded baby shower invite

I'm home from work today due to snow and freezing rain. It's raining now and the temperature is above freezing...probably could have gone in after all. I am being productive here at home unpacking boxes and putting stuff in plastic bins for long-term storage as we work on the house.

I received an invitation to a baby shower.  After I opened it, I promptly put it on our fridge. My initial thought was that I could suck it up and go, that it would be fun to see friends, show that we are happy for them, etc. But then, I get the mental picture of me sitting at a table with friends who are all moms. I'd have to "ooh" and "ahh" with everyone else, when I know that I'll slowly, but surely start to feel like shit. I'll have to watch her, all glowy and pregnant, opening those cute baby gifts. I know that I'll be watching the clock hoping for the torture to end quickly and wondering why I even went.

I thought hubby would think I was being silly and encourage me to go, but he was more than supportive. Love that guy.

My policy about baby showers is this: I only go when it's family (depending on who it is), close friends (I've gone through all of their showers though), and work. I can't avoid those. For the ones I have missed over the years, I have always sent a gift or dropped one off after the shower. I'm all about self-preservation and prevention of days-long sadness. I don't plan on having a shower and quite frankly, I don't want one.

I feel guilty about not going though. Part of me wants to go to show that "Hey, I'm OK! Don't pity me everyone! I'm childless, but I can be happy for you! See, I'm not a selfish and envious beyotch!". However, the other part of me is taking the lead on this one...I'll be calling soon to let the RSVP person know I can't make it.

Pregnancy announcement magnet

Last week, my boss, a co-worker, and I had to go for a meeting at another hospital. While the three of us were waiting, my boss asks my co-worker (who is fairly quiet, seems like a sweet girl, and very new to the job) how everything went at the doctor's. I was thinking, "Why the heck would he ask her that in front of me?". You'd have to meet my boss...essentially good guy, but no couth. I noticed she turned red and said, "It went well. I have to talk to you later.". Boss man says to her as if trying to guess, "You're pregnant.". Ummmm...hello! I'm still sitting here!! She smiled and nodded her head. Perfect. Sometimes I feel like I'm starring in a really bad sit-com.

I later told her that I wouldn't say anything to anyone. She's now in her 2nd trimester, so she said it was OK to spill the beans. Even so, I won't say anything. The funny thing was our boss totally put her in the hot seat...again, you'd have to meet him. He somehow is able to get away with saying certain things without seeming like a total jerk...or maybe a small part of me was enjoying watching the preggo sweat it out.  He asked her how old she was (25) and why she wouldn't want to wait. She's currently in graduate school. Apparently, the pregnancy was a surprise (of course it was!). Then he asked her to remind him of when they got married (5 months ago...a week after she started working with us)....he started counting on his fingers. He cracked me up that day.

I remember thinking that our biggest decision was deciding WHEN we would start trying to get pregnant, as if I'm the one who gets to choose when pregnancy happens. Turned out that I would never have that luxury. A big part of my jealous feelings towards preggos (ones who haven't had to deal with IF) has to do with the pregnancy happening as planned.  I sometimes wonder when the next pregnancy announcement will be. 

I realize as I'm typing this that I should stop anticipating future pregnancy announcements. Do you think that's possible? I'm like a Boy Scout...I like to be prepared.

Weather, politics, and other small talk

Maybe my funk (see previous post) is related to this crappy winter we're having here on the East coast. I'm not a cold weather person and this has been a colder winter than average for us. I was just looking at the weather forecast for this week. It was in the high 20s today. We are going to have a heat wave on Friday...47 degrees. But then it's supposed to go back down to 32 for the high the next day. I realize that I sound like the weather person on the local news. Needless to say, I'm counting down the days until spring.

On a different topic, I was able to watch President O.bama's inauguration and speech at work today (I work for a government agency, so it was encouraged). It was so amazing to watch history like this unfold. It gave me goosebumps. He obviously has a very tough job ahead, but I feel like the transition of power is a much-needed and, hopefully, truly unifying change for this country.

On the adoption front, our homestudy update visit is scheduled for February 3rd. That will be almost a year to the day that we had our first homestudy visit at our old house (2/4/08). I always thought it would take us a while to get matched, but at that time, I pictured her 2nd visit to be post-placement, not an update.

I missed yoga last night. The roads were a bit icy and hubby didn't think it was a good idea to be out on the road. I'm a bit disappointed in myself. However, I did try to do yoga at home...but I couldn't find my yoga DVD amongst the many boxes. I honestly cannot remember where I put it. Excuses, excuses, I know.

Feeling funk-y

I'm getting into a funk with the blogging thing. It's not that I don't want to do it anymore. I'm not sure what it is...writer's block, reading about matches (with nothing going on for us), not enough time in the day. It may be a combo of these things and others. Anyway, I've been a bad blogger.

Maybe I'm just in a general funk about adoption. We're updating our homestudy because of the move. It's also been almost a year since we were approved. In PA, the homestudy has to be updated yearly, so we're due to update anyway. I'm a bit ticked because I realized that not only do we have to do state criminal and child abuse clearances, we also have to do the FBI clearance and fingerprints. And of course, the state doesn't accept personal checks...money orders or certified checks. For $10. Give me a break. OK, enough bitching and moaning.

On a positive note, yoga and Pilates are going well. The Pilates class kicked my ass on Wednesday and I had a lot of difficulty doing anything that involved my abdominals, which in case you haven't noticed, is just about EVERYTHING. But I've needed something to kick my butt into gear for quite a while. It probably wasn't a good idea that I ate about a pound of potato chips WITH french onion dip today. This adds to the funk I'm currently in. (It was so good though.)

Back from a winter getaway

Just got home from a long weekend away in the Pocono mountains with hubby's family...his 2 siblings and families, along with all of his cousins on his dad's side and spouses and kids. 18 people total. We rented a great house and were just a couple of minutes from the slopes. I don't ski or snowboard, but I enjoyed the quiet while almost everyone went out on Saturday. My previous post was written while we were there because I finally felt like I had the time to sit down and post. It's nice to be away from all of the things that "need" to be done around the house. It was a relaxing, fun, and COLD weekend where we went, which is only about a 1-1/2 hour drive from home. There was already snow there and we got more snow on Saturday.

Back to the real world tomorrow...

A busy bee (facilitator update #7)

There's no new stuff related to adoption. I spoke with our facilitator yesterday. She told me that their phone has been very busy since the new year. No news for us, of course. I still need to make an appointment with our social worker for our homestudy update since we've moved. I'll call her next week. I've been wanting to update our profile, but that has gone by the wayside. I've been so occupied with the house lately.

I started yoga last week. My experience with yoga is mostly limited to DVDs in the privacy of my own home. This was my first time in a class situation. It's a different type of yoga then most people think of though...it's called S*varoopa yoga . I brought my yoga mat expecting to do the usual downward dogs, planks, warrior poses, etc. with the goal of doing some sweating and burning some calories. Instead, I was on my back most of the time on these ultra-soft fleece blankets with my legs propped up. The only thing missing was a TV and it would have been a typical evening for me. There is a lot of focus on the 'core' and holding of poses. I don't like that it doesn't feel like I'm doing 'anything'. Oh, I'm sure it's doing 'something', but I'm definitely not on the fast track to preparing for swimsuit season. I'm signed up for 10 more classes, so we'll see how I feel at the end of it.

I've also signed up to go to a more "traditional" yoga class and a Pila*tes class at another studio starting this week. I love being home, so this is a big deal for me that I'll be going somewhere 3 times a week after work.

I'm also registering for a beginner Spanish class with our community college. I didnt want to get too crazy though...this is an online class. I've always wanted to learn Spanish. I took Latin in high school.

I've been looking for a good photography class too so I can learn more about my new SLR. I've found a couple, but both happen to be when I'm going away for work in March. I'm going to Las Vegas for a nursing conference.

Have I mentioned that I'm taking a knitting class too?