So long, 2009

I say this over and over, but I really can't believe that it is very possible that the baby we've been waiting for all these years is due to be born next week.  Someone pinch me.  We have lots to do in a few days and my neuroses are kicking into high gear.  I think about emom often and trust that she and baby are doing well.  I'm nervous but so excited to meet emom. 

A new year and hopefully, a new title for me very soon....Mommy.  I feel like a cheeseball writing that.  Maybe it's just part of the disbelief.  Or maybe I am a cheeseball.  Whatever the case may be, I'm ready for 2010 and the new journey of parenthood that we hope is in store for us very soon.  

Happy New Year to all! 

And a special wish for those of you still awaiting news of a match that your dreams come true in '10.           

The cat's out of the bag

If I had to describe our attitude about disclosing our adoption match news to family and friends, it would be, in a word, private...private as opposed to secretive.  We're just not the type to start yelling from the rooftops (although we wanted to).  We started with our immediate families soon after we received the call.  For the last 3 months or so, we've told some, but not many.  I guess that's just us being cautious and afraid that things would fall through.  But as January is quickly approaching, it has seemed more appropriate for us to share our news.  We've also found that as time has passed, our news has "leaked", so we wanted to be able to tell people who didn't hear our news yet ourselves. 

This last week, with holiday parties aplenty, we've had the opportunity to tell people in our lives who don't already know.   It was both strange and wonderful to be giving news about an addition to the family, rather than hearing about it.  We are grateful for the support, excitement, and well-wishes.  It was overwhelming, but made me realize how fortunate we are to have the family and friends that we do.  Sure, there were some reactions that probably would have been somewhat different if we were sharing pregnancy news, but it was all positive.  I have to remember that some just don't have experience with adoption and leave it at that.

I'm thinking about having a separate and private blog for family and close friends to share our journey when we travel.  That was the original purpose of this blog, but it turned into something much different for me as we waited to be matched.  Here is where I've gotten pretty personal and I'm not ready to share that with all people IRL (in real life).  Don't worry...I would be sharing a lot of the same information on this blog (I may be doing a lot of copying and pasting).  I just want to avoid my worlds colliding.         

Time is flying by

Almost four months ago, Christmas seemed so far away and now it's just a day away.  With each holiday, I saw it as a milestone to get past as we got closer to emom's due date.  Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and now Christmas.  It seems like I've wished the entire season of fall away!  One more holiday to go...and we're just hoping that it will be a very, very special and happy new year for us. 

Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones.  Here's hoping all of your Christmas dreams come true.       

I hate snow

We got walloped with about 21" of snow on Saturday.  Even though we live in the northeastern part of the country, we're not that used to that much snow at one time.  It's usually about this time that I seriously contemplate moving to Florida or Arizona.  Too bad Hubbs wouldn't be down with that.  Speaking of Hubbs, he has been working since 8am Saturday morning...and won't be back until very late tonight.  Big football game today and the stadium had to be cleared!  We missed dinner with his immediate family last night, which really stinks because we were looking forward to it.   As I was wading through the snow drifts and getting snow in my socks as I shoveled what felt like mountains of snow, I could only think of one thing...that snow and winter absolutely suck.  Yeah, it's pretty while it's falling, but then it's just gets slushy and brown and is a major PITA.   

Enough complaining...

One plus of snow shoveling...a great workout.  However, I did take some Advil as a pre-emptive strike against the back/arm/leg aches that I'm anticipating. 

   

Busy, busy, busy!

We're in nesting overdrive over here.  I haven't done much blogging or reading of my favorite blogs because I haven't had a lot of time.  Some bullet updates: 

-We're leaving in 3 weeks...and still have to book our flight and car rental.  The hotel is booked.
-The house is a WRECK.  We're doing some last minute home improvement projects....the perfect time for it! 
-I submitted my time off request and fortunately for us, I can use sick and vacation time.  I'm requesting 14 weeks off....7 will be paid.   
-Christmas shopping is done. 
-We have to pick up the nursery furniture. 
-I bought the car seat (yes, we decided to bring one with us...or ship to hotel...thanks Jill!). 
-Hubbs had his required bloodwork done today. 
-We have to stop by our local police station and get fingerprints done (our state scans fingerprints rather than using ink, but agency wants the prints for our file). 
-Hubbs is working the next 2 weekends and our holiday social calendar is full.
-Received more information about emom through the agency.  She's currently going to counseling, which was good to hear. 
-Starting to freak out! 

A little bit of insight about B

During this 4 month wait, I've been frustrated about the lack of contact with the agency.  Our consultant had told me that things would pick up once we got closer to the due date.  Well, I guess that time has come.  I've had more contact with the agency person because she is now needing some additional paperwork.  She asked if I had heard from B, since she was supposed to call me after the doctor's appointment.  When I told her no, she replied in her email: 

"She is doing well, and I see her every week or two. As far as I know she is still fine with the adoption plan. I am not sure what her deal with the communication is right now. I think she just has a lot on her plate right now (none of it about the adoption) and she needs to get her own life straightened out. She is a sweetie and needs to focus on dealing with getting her life back on track. Right now she is not working or anything and just has too much time on her hands."

I don't know any details, but I did know that she has some issues going on in her life right now.   I guess that I am glad to get any information about her, but at the same time, it doesn't totally ease my anxiety.  There probably isn't anything (other than a Xan.ax) that would do that right about now.  I'm thankful that she seems to have regular contact with the agency and I believe the agency person has a good relationship with her.  B has placed another child for adoption before and worked with this woman.  I still have yet to reply to the agency, but I'm going to ask about what kind of emotional support she has currently or is available to her.  

As I mentioned in the previous post, my communication will just be through the agency.  Not what I hoped for, but I obviously need to back off B.

Quick update

The crib, mattress, and recliner are in and ready for pick-up!   

We're going to B's home state sooner than originally planned, so my ticker has been updated accordingly.  It's fun for me to look at that thing.   

According to the agency, B was going to call me to talk about traveling sooner than planned.  She has not called and I don't expect her to.  I left a message for her tonight.  I've decided that from now on, I'll be contacting the agency only, unless there is a strong indication for me to call B.  I hate that and it makes me anxious and more uncertain about everything.  But at this point, I feel like I am stalking the woman.  The agency has frequent contact with her and I'm told that she's doing really well.     

Not enough time in the day and an agency update

Holy crap!  I haven't been on my blog in a few days and now the ticker is stating "one month and 4 days to go".  Eek! 

Hubbs and I did a lot of work on the house this weekend.  In hindsight, I wonder if less than 5 weeks to go before baby was the best time to start some of the things that we did.  The nursery is almost done, but totally unfurnished.  We didn't originally plan to do this, but we stained and gave the hardwood floor a few coats of polyurethane.  It has a lot of deep scratches and nicks character and it turned out great.  The recliner and crib that I ordered are still not in and the dresser that I am in the process of refinishing is out in the garage...still in the process. 

On a whim, we decided to paint the entire living room this weekend.  AAAHHHHHHHHH!  The impetus was the thought of the many visitors that we will likely have once baby is home with us.  We had at least 40 year old, dingy wallpaper on the walls.  They now have a coat of primer on it (decided not to get into scraping).  Hubbs is busy all week after work, so not much more is going to get done until next weekend. 

We've been in the house just about one year now (on the 19th) and we finally get to doing this big project.    It's not going to be completely finished in the next few weeks...hubbs wants to put up crown moulding and the carpets will be pulled up and floors refinished eventually.  But it should look a hell of a lot better. 

I talked with our agency person and found out that B has a doctor's appointment next week.  I haven't talked with B in quite some time, which is disappointing, but agency person said that she is doing really well.  We should have a better idea of when we should travel after the appointment because she is being induced.  We're already planning to be there 2 days before the presumed induction date.  She also talked about "all of us" going out to eat when we arrive, so that we're not meeting for the first time at the hospital.  AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!  Needless to say, I'm excited and nervous about that. 

I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about everything.  Or is it nausea when I think about all of the work on the house?  It could be a combo.