During this 4 month wait, I've been frustrated about the lack of contact with the agency. Our consultant had told me that things would pick up once we got closer to the due date. Well, I guess that time has come. I've had more contact with the agency person because she is now needing some additional paperwork. She asked if I had heard from B, since she was supposed to call me after the doctor's appointment. When I told her no, she replied in her email:
"She is doing well, and I see her every week or two. As far as I know she is still fine with the adoption plan. I am not sure what her deal with the communication is right now. I think she just has a lot on her plate right now (none of it about the adoption) and she needs to get her own life straightened out. She is a sweetie and needs to focus on dealing with getting her life back on track. Right now she is not working or anything and just has too much time on her hands."
I don't know any details, but I did know that she has some issues going on in her life right now. I guess that I am glad to get any information about her, but at the same time, it doesn't totally ease my anxiety. There probably isn't anything (other than a Xan.ax) that would do that right about now. I'm thankful that she seems to have regular contact with the agency and I believe the agency person has a good relationship with her. B has placed another child for adoption before and worked with this woman. I still have yet to reply to the agency, but I'm going to ask about what kind of emotional support she has currently or is available to her.
As I mentioned in the previous post, my communication will just be through the agency. Not what I hoped for, but I obviously need to back off B.
#MicroblogMondays - Willpower
10 years ago
12 comments:
If I were you I'd totally need a Xan.ax too! Hang in there.
I am imagining it for you and it must be so stressful. The only thing that would keep me calm is knowing the agency is clearly in frequent touch with her. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers xxxx
I'd be curious to know if B's communication style was the same with the last adoption. Hope you get some info that puts your mind at ease.
Have you guys every met B in person, or will you? Just wondering. By the way, it's not any easier talking to b-mom! I have b-mom's cell phone and we talk or text everyday. Yesterday I text her at 11, 2, and called at 3, and 6. I didn't hear back and was FREAKING out! She called at 7, turned out her son had put her phone on silence! Hang in there!
29 days! Hang in there. This is not easy for anyone involved. Sorry! I wish I could help. Everyone's path is sooo unique. Embrace it. : )
Jenn, we won't meet her until probably a day or two before the birth. That's the plan anyway. I can only hope that she still wants to meet with us then!
Hi. That's really hard. Our birth mom really liked us and had offered for us to attend her last appointments but then never followed up. It really worried me. However, I now realize she just, probably like B, had too much going on personally/emotionally. There wasn't much communication with us and it really worried me but it was all great in the hospital and we have a good relationship. I know everyone and every situation is different but hope that this similarity might help to put your mind at ease. I really feel like the waiting during the match is agonizing. You're almost there!!!
Sounds like things are still moving along though. I think that every situation is different and as long as your social worker is assuring you and is frequently talking with her, it sounds good. Hang in there!
We were also worried about our birth mom, if she had emotional support, if counseling was available... Hopefully she'll want to meet you, who knows. Even if it doesn't happen before the birth, it can always happen afterwards. That's how it went with us - we met after the birth, and she had made perfectly clear she didn't want to meet us, but she changed her mind. We were so glad she did, because we all needed to meet, and it was amazing. I know this wait must be unbearable... But you're almost there! hang in there... :o)
Thinking of you and how stressful this must be. Good to see the agency is keeping in contact with her. Hang in there!!1
I've said this before, but I'll say it again - we only spoke to L every month or so and those were short convos. Just breathe and hang in there. TWENTY DAYS?!
I can't imagine all that the birth mother goes through.
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