I tried to call B again on Sunday and I had to leave another message. I kept it short and sweet and invited her to call me whenever, if she wanted to. She only has free weekend minutes, so I don't expect a call back soon, if at all.
On Tuesday, I got a call from our con.sultant. She talked with B's agency. The agency director saw B in her office that day. According to her, everything is still good. She's still on board with us. However....
Our consulta.nt passed onto us some information that she learned from the agency director. Without getting into any details, this new information was a bit of a curveball. Truthfully, it may affect our desire to continue the match. We still have to process a lot of the information. We don't want to continue just for the fact that we've waited so long and, quite frankly, we're feeling desperate, just as much as we don't want to pull out of the match for the "wrong" reasons. Since I'm giving no details, I'm sure that I make no sense. I'm confused myself and there are a lot of things going on in my head right now.
It's one of those things where you wish someone would just tell you what to do...and then you realize you're a grown up and you have to actually make a decision.
#MicroblogMondays - Willpower
11 years ago
20 comments:
Ahhhh, I'll keep you in my prayers. I can't give you any suggestions because I haven't been in your position, and I have no idea what the issues are. But, I'm praying that you are able to process all the information and proceed in a way that you are at peace with.
Thinking of you hon. Being a "grown up" totally sucks at times like this doesn't it?
Sending hugs and good wishes xxxx
Thinking and praying for you both.......
I've been waiting to hear from you!!! We were thrown a curveball after C's birth, too. So, I've been there. I hope you guys stay strong and do the "right" thing for your family : ) With adoption it is so hard because sometimes you get too little of information and sometimes you get too much...
Sorry to hear you're having troubles.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Go with your gut instinct about it, even if that means leaving the match behind. Follow wherever it is that you have peace. Praying for you!
Wow, definitely sounds like an overwhelming situation. Without knowing the details, it is hard for me to say for sure...but my instinct in cases like this is to go with my gut.
Only you can know for sure what you can ultimately handle as parents...but there may be no perfect situation out there, only one with the right kind of imperfections if that makes any sense.
Good luck with your decision, I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
Melba
Hmmmm....well I can think of a few scenarios that would make you cancel. Just go with your heart.
Oh my goodness. We have been there! We have had to make some very difficult decisions regarding 2 of our birth mother situations. It is so difficult. But, you are right... you SHOULD NOT put yourself in a place of desperation. You are NOT desperate for just any baby.
As adoptive parents, we have just as many rights as the birth parents... just different rights. There are things that we can handle... and things that we can't handle. I encourage you to remember that... although the thought of a baby is so... sweet.
You (and I) will be a mommy one day. If this is your baby, God will soften and comfort your heart regarding the details you are considering right now. He will manipulate all of the fine details to make it "work" according to your heart's true desires and His plan for you. If this is not your baby... then this is one of the stepping/learning stones you are encountering along the way!
Hopefully, these learning stones help us in the end! I will be thinking about you and praying for you. Listen to your heart and your mind... accept what you can, not what you have to!
Prayers, hugs, and blessings...
Julie :)
Whatever decision you make, it will be the right one for YOU.
Thinking of you - keep us posted!
I'm sorry to hear about the curveball. I guess it's just not ever going to be easy, huh? Wishing you peace with whatever decision you end up making. Hang in there.
I'm sorry about the curveball and lack of contact. That certainly doesn't make you feel warm and fuzzy about the situation. I wish you both clarity so you can figure out what's best.
I hope everything works for everyone involved. I love your last line and it is so true. We just wish someone could make decisions for us. I will be thinking of you and hoping for the best.
Oh, this is a hard one. Listen, there are many details that made our match "undesirable" and I'd be happy to talk to you one on one about what our "issues" were. Not to talk you into/out of anything, but just to offer some perspective. Email me...
I'm sorry that you've been thrown a curve ball. I hope that you and Hubby are able to figure things out. If only life were simple.
I'm so sorry you were thrown a curve ball. I know you and T will make the best decision for your family. Let me know if there is anything I can do.
I'm so sorry...praying for peace for you as you decide how to proceed!
Trust your instincts. Trust God. You'll know what the right decision is...
Hope everything works out. I'l keep you in my prayers.
Hugs,
Maru
I'm not sure what it is, but if it's things like drugs etc, do your reaserch. MOST ALL babies born addicted or exposed are fine. If it is about openess or birth father issues, remember that at the end of the day after finalization you have FULL control. If it is any of those things or anything else, I's sure you will make the right choice for you and your husband and I REALLY admire that you are able to step back and think about whatever it is from a non-desperate place. shows how much integrity you both have.
When we got thrown a curve ball (or two!) of our own, one of my friends said that it was God's way of leading us down a path that we wouldn't have chosen knowingly. It rang so true for me - because had we received certain information up front - we wouldn't have two of our three children.
Everyone's situation is unique - only you two can decide what is best for you.
Praying for clarity for you!
-r
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