I reconnected with an old friend. He had heard through the grapevine (the grapevine is very long in our neck of the woods) about our infertility (IF) so that's how the dialogue on the IF topic started. I learned that he and his wife had also gone on the IVF rollercoaster with no success. We had the opportunity to meet up...he and his wife, me and hubby. After some catching up, he asked about our adoption process. It was really nice to talk with a couple who had gone down a similar road in an attempt to have a family.
He said that he would probably want to talk with me more about the adoption process. I could see that she wasn't quite as ready for this conversation. Ahhhh...I remember feeling that...the overwhelming anger, frustration, sadness. I felt like I was looking at myself about 5 years ago. I chose not to talk up adoption that night. I know that I wouldn't have appreciated it back when I was in their shoes. If they want to hear our experience with the adoption process, they'll ask me when they're both ready.
I will admit that I'm still somewhat bitter at times about IF. Numerous unsuccessful infertility procedures will do that to a woman....this particular woman anyway. I can now appreciate where we are in our family-building pursuit. I remember being in the midst of treatment and what a dark hole that was for me and how defeated I felt.
What a long, strange trip it's been, but at least I know we're on the right road now.
#MicroblogMondays - Willpower
11 years ago
5 comments:
That is a strange coincidence, but I am glad you got to talk with them. I also remember what it was like to be in her shoes and to feel like there was simply no energy left for anything other than what was happening with IF. I think it's nice that you respected their space...there was a time when I really needed to cling to the notion of pregnancy too, and I would have pushed away information about adoption.
Anyway...glad you got to connect with some old pals, isn't F*book great?!
Melba
It IS a good feeling to be on the 'right road' as you put it. It took us a while to get here, too. I'm glad that you will be able to be there for your friends when/if they get to the same place, too.
I wonder if we'll ever be on the right road?!?! I'm glad you got to reconnect with some old friends, and I'm always sad to hear that someone's IF journey is coming to a sad ending.
I think they're pretty lucky to be friends with you. I wish I had known people who had been through infertility and pursued adoption. I felt like the only one especially since we were pursuing domestic. Anyone I knew had chosen international.
Just when you think you are at square one, you realize how far you have actually come! Hmmm maybe that was an AHA moment for you. You are very strong, Eileen!!
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