I happened to skip over the fact that my birthday was a few days ago. What is it about birthdays? I guess other holidays (I think of my bday as a holiday for me) can have the same effect...a feeling that time is just slipping away and I haven't accomplished one huge thing at this age...becoming a mom. I believe that the main reason I feel old is because I don't have a child yet.
I were at a party recently. There were 3 zillion kids there under the age of 13 and it made me feel even more so that hubby and I are woefully behind our friends in the family department. When we start thinking about preschools, many of our friends will be talking about middle school and some, high school!
I read an article about some pl.ayboy floozy (K.endra Wi.lkinson) who recently married an NF.L football player (an Eagle!). They are expecting and due in a few months. The sentence that stuck out for me while I was reading was that they wanted to be "young parents". Yeah, as if they planned this pregnancy.
Truthfully, sometimes I wonder what we're thinking. No, we're not going to be the oldest first-time parents in the world. But I can't escape the fact that we will be older-than-most parents. If we are fortunate enough to have a baby placed with us soon, I will be 40 with a 2 year old. Then I'll be 41 with a 3 year old. And 50 with a 12 year old. You see where I'm going with this. But then I remember that they're just numbers. We have a lot more going for us than we did 10 years ago...life experience, financial stability, bigger house. Nevermind that we have lost some things over the last 10 years, namely skin elasticity, hair, and muscle tone.
Birthdays can be depressing, especially when you are waiting. However, this year I did have an awesome day. Turning 38 wasn't so bad. Maybe it will be a memorable year...first-time mom at 38 (gasp!).
I like it.
#MicroblogMondays - Willpower
10 years ago
15 comments:
I know what you mean. Sigh.
Holidays, especially my birthday, depress me. It's just another reminder that I'm still not a mom. I wanted to be a "young mom". Even growing up I would think about how I wanted to be a young mom and be "cool" (I was the youngest so my parents were older when they had me). But like you said, that didn't go according to plan. Now I just want to be a Mom, and that's still not happening. Josh and I are so left out of everything. We don't even go to parties anymore because they inevitably turn into everyone talking about their kids, and well, what do we have to add to those conversations?
Sorry that person said a rude comment to you. People just don't think. Unless they've dealt with IF they just have no clue. Ignorance is bliss I guess...
(((Hugs)))
Here's hoping that your a Mommy soon!!!!
Happy birthday! I totally know what you mean. I often have the same thoughts, both at functions with other people and their kids and also when just having thoughts about how I planned to be a much younger mom. I'm sorry that people are so rude with their comments sometimes. They just don't get how hurtful they can be.
I absolutely cannot stand my birthday. It's right around mother's day too, which makes it even better.
But you will be no means the oldest mom around. There will be plenty older. Beside, I'm sure no one will even know because you'll act so young!
Age is really nothing, especially nowadays when people act younger and live longer. Some parents have a child in their 20s and then go on to unexpectedly raise grandchildren in their 40s or 50s or 60s...
You will have perks of being a mother in her 40s. For one thing, you'll probably be more patient and more emotionally and financially secure than a mother in her 20s.
A really good friend of mine had a 65 year old father and a 60 year old mother in high school. She had lupus and had a really difficult time getting pregnant. His parents were the coolest parents in the world and everyone absolutely loved them. We never felt like they were out of touch or old or lame - we never looked at them as anything but really sweet people.
My point is that, although it's hard to get to another birthday without a baby you so desperately long for, you shouldn't feel as though being a first-time mother in your 40s is a bad thing. If anything, it's much better than other ages.
38 was MY year! I'm six months ahead of you in the age department and EVERYTHING you said, I have said. This is why we have to stay friends : ) Everyone tells me the kids will keep me young (fingers crossed)...
Sorry that old friend said that rude comment to you. People just don't think sometimes. I'm praying that 38 is your year ;)
This is YOUR year. And I'm cheering you on from my corner of the world! xxx
Girl....We brought DJ home when I was almost 37...I thought I was going to have trade my walker in for a wheelchair! LOL!!!!
People DO says the dumbest things!
Here's one for ya!
At work the other day someone sais to me, "You look so great...You have the flattess stomach ever"...Then another girl walks up and says, "Yea, but remember, she never had kids"!
WTF!!! I was SOOO blown away by the comment I just walked away.
I guess most people forgot what our mama's taught us...
"THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK"
Love and Hugs-
Dori
Happy Birthday!! This WILL be your year. :)
Well happy belated birthday all the same.
All I can really say is that I'm sorry...and I do get it. I totally understand how hard it is to be waiting, and wondering, and questioning the mere facts of your existence, and what that means in terms of the kind of parent you'll be.
The bottom line is that it will all fall into place when the time is right. YOUR child will be a child who needs "older" parents. I know that is little comfort now, but someday it will fit.
Hugs,
Melba
Happy Birthday, E.
I understand the whole being an older mom thing. Many of my friends have kids and some even have 3 or 4. It's hard to be the last ones in the group. It's sort of like we're in between stages in life.
I hope a little one comes into your life very very soon!
Well, happy birthday!!! HUGGSS!!!
There are definitely some pros to not being a "young mom." My mother was 40 when my youngest sister was born. I think it will keep you young longer!
Mr H is 45. He has a 22 year old...so this has certainly given him pause.
I think you're looking at it the right way though...We have LOTS more to offer as moms now at this age!
Happy belated birthday!
Hi E, long time no talk...just wanted to say 'You do NOT look 38..at all.' With that being said A is 41 with a 1 year old. And I b.s. you not...his friend just became a grandpa two weeks ago. So yeah, we are a little behind, when I heard about his friend becoming a grandpa, I admit I felt bad for A but at the same time I feel bad for his friend 19 year old daughter.
Anyhow, like you said, it's just a number....but I completely understand how you feel. Hugs!
Happy belated birthday. I'm glad you had a nice day. I certainly hope this is the year your dreams come true!
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